The Moron Terror


A guy left me an inexplicable voicemail Tuesday. He wanted to know if I could assist him in “analyzing canine thyroid secretions.” If that isn’t weird enough, he claimed he found my name and number through an Internet search.

Rest assured, the Muse’s wage-earning alter ego is the last person you’d hire for such a task. I don’t know a thyroid gland from an artichoke. How this guy looked at my real-life Web site and concluded I was a dog yak expert is beyond comprehension.

But that was only a harbinger. A little later I caught the President’s presser with Hamid Karzia and I realized that the same mental virus that led that my caller to conclude I’m a lab genius had spread to the highest office in the land.

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